very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
