so explain again why im purple
no
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
