I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize