If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
