I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize