Kiss
Puke
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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