I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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