Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
