so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I will pee on everything he values.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
