he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
