I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
In other news, I just burned my penis
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
