I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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