have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
