i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Still dying that you shit outside
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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