He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I will be naked everywhere
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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