Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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