how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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