even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
