I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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