That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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