Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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