I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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