I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
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We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
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I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
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