I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
