just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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