Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize