do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
