Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
false alarm. still invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize