Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
