i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize