Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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