Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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