So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
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They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
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Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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