Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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