did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Randomize
