It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
