He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
