lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
as a side note pls kill me
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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