it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
