Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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