weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Randomize
