: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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