I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize