Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
