ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
