I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
