I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
