Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.

  (310): View more from California

  ***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.

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  (630): oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican. (310): ***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated. http://tfl.nu/5wsv
  Replies (12) Good night (676) Bad night (956)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.

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  (434): There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically. http://tfl.nu/76cj
  Replies (25) Good night (14178) Bad night (999)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar

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  (720): You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar http://tfl.nu/nzkd
  Replies (21) Good night (8588) Bad night (1045)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.

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  (289): It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack. http://tfl.nu/6xg5
  Replies (21) Good night (990) Bad night (7400)
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  (914): View more from New York

  whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.

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  (914): whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again. http://tfl.nu/9run
  Replies (5) Good night (1861) Bad night (1326)
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  (619): View more from California

  He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.

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  (619): He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/6dyk
  Replies (9) Good night (3382) Bad night (920)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.

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  (912): Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch. http://tfl.nu/z7wv
  Replies (7) Good night (3187) Bad night (748)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.

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  (250): we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation. http://tfl.nu/ezo2
  Replies (5) Good night (1251) Bad night (501)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember

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  (832): came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember http://tfl.nu/t07z
  Replies (3) Good night (784) Bad night (737)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow

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  (303): I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow http://tfl.nu/wseu
  Replies (2) Good night (1094) Bad night (356)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You get home ok?

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.

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  (404): You get home ok? (1-404): Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah. http://tfl.nu/6dv0
  Replies (2) Good night (1000) Bad night (340)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.

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  (586): My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween. http://tfl.nu/l0yk
  Replies (2) Good night (1026) Bad night (408)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION

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  (610): IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION http://tfl.nu/utlo
  Replies (2) Good night (766) Bad night (349)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does

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  (651): Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business". (651): I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does http://tfl.nu/4wrb
  Replies (0) Good night (444) Bad night (275)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?

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  (585): Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning? http://tfl.nu/f296
  Replies (4) Good night (848) Bad night (315)

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