Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.