Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great