Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk

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(330): when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk http://tfl.nu/57qd

Replies (7) Good night (1860) Bad night (2020)
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(210): View more from Texas

spencer pratt says his family invinted chess

(1-210): View more from Texas

that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.

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(210): spencer pratt says his family invinted chess (1-210): that kid is like the al gore of hollywood. http://tfl.nu/qms6

Replies (19) Good night (971) Bad night (2271)
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(562): View more from California

biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009

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(562): biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009 http://tfl.nu/05kt

Replies (15) Good night (1108) Bad night (3871)
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(310): View more from California

We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.

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(310): We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened. http://tfl.nu/spf0

Replies (4) Good night (3547) Bad night (923)
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(563): View more from Iowa

Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties

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(563): Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties http://tfl.nu/ywu8

Replies (16) Good night (5388) Bad night (1086)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.

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(414): Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests. http://tfl.nu/dptn

Replies (12) Good night (4343) Bad night (1032)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.

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(479): Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE. http://tfl.nu/evb8

Replies (10) Good night (776) Bad night (2378)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.

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(410): I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful. http://tfl.nu/rt55

Replies (5) Good night (576) Bad night (1894)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained

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(484): In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained http://tfl.nu/b1r9

Replies (4) Good night (995) Bad night (439)
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(707): View more from California

I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?

(650): View more from California

There is so much wrong with that sentence

(707): View more from California

Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real

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(707): I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom? (650): There is so much wrong with that sentence (707): Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real http://tfl.nu/wzrt

Replies (5) Good night (1159) Bad night (629)
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(518): View more from New York

Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.

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(518): Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered. http://tfl.nu/cv8i

Replies (3) Good night (519) Bad night (780)
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(212): View more from New York

Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors

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(212): Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors http://tfl.nu/gwrw

Replies (0) Good night (486) Bad night (362)
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(425): View more from Washington

Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.

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(425): Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home. http://tfl.nu/vg5q

Replies (0) Good night (343) Bad night (434)
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(970): View more from Colorado

It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!

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(970): It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood! http://tfl.nu/nce0

Replies (1) Good night (646) Bad night (338)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.

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(250): I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start. http://tfl.nu/pmse

Replies (2) Good night (469) Bad night (128)

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