It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
