Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..

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  (651): You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold.. http://tfl.nu/rd4a
  Replies (18) Good night (5732) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"

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  (912): your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?" http://tfl.nu/ccfy
  Replies (18) Good night (1032) Bad night (3807)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table

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  (330): It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table http://tfl.nu/2wbi
  Replies (24) Good night (931) Bad night (3825)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free

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  (614): i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free http://tfl.nu/fc7m
  Replies (33) Good night (4244) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?

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  (859): The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you? http://tfl.nu/o13h
  Replies (8) Good night (3590) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.

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  (919): Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed. http://tfl.nu/csse
  Replies (9) Good night (3232) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah

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  (660): I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah http://tfl.nu/jyz7
  Replies (9) Good night (2166) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.

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  (647): Think I pulled my pelvic muscle. (416): I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle. http://tfl.nu/mzl9
  Replies (6) Good night (1937) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.

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  (907): Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza. http://tfl.nu/7qtg
  Replies (10) Good night (1127) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified

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  (812): She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified http://tfl.nu/xfst
  Replies (9) Good night (1272) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.

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  (760): He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes. http://tfl.nu/l52c
  Replies (4) Good night (1365) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!

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  (727): I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that! http://tfl.nu/zrpi
  Replies (2) Good night (828) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring

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  (513): This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring http://tfl.nu/luk6
  Replies (8) Good night (308) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.

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  (585): Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house. http://tfl.nu/r6xm
  Replies (4) Good night (1128) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him

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  (270): He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him http://tfl.nu/fwi5
  Replies (0) Good night (299) Bad night (212)

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