Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside