my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Randomize
