i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
