We're facebook friends in real life
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize