Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
