You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just forgot I was standing up.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
