shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Your tits are I can't wait for
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
