some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
