FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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