You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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